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ELDEN RING When a small army still isnt enough to win

Frostweather: Cath's "are you summoning a cat?" in response to Jake's "PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS!!" is peak sense of humor a human can achieve

the_linguist_ll: Centaurs wouldn’t be insects because having six legs is not what makes insects insects, they’re insects because they come from a common ancestor which had six legs. There are also hexapods which have six legs and are not all insects

DRAG0NSPIRIT10: Jonk: "Holy shit we actually made it to phase two."

Boss: "IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZER!!!!"

queegUK: Cath's Kiwi impression sounds like bogan gollum

robertlyle6621: Pretty sure this comment got lost from the live video, but I saved it, so, here y'all go:

Centaur anatomy would be, you have the human-esque head, perhaps a slight bit bigger than a human head due to the overall size difference. Two ribcages, one upper, one lower, with the upper ('human' half) lungs being the 'speaking' and idle breathing lungs, while the lower ('horse' half) lungs are connected by a second, thicker set of bronchi, protected by a hip-like structure joining the two torsos, and are primarily used during running or other high periods of activity, otherwise only inhaling/exhaling every few 'upper' breaths.

The 'upper' torso would be a little shorter than a human torso, because many of the internal organs are in the 'lower' body and the remainder would be larger to fill the space otherwise taken up by intestines and such; fortunately, the digestive system wouldn't have to be quite so complicated due to centaurs being able to have more varied and nutritionally dense meals than ruminant feeders. Still probably six square meals a day plus snacks, but hey, there's a lot of centaur to feed. They also wouldn't be as prone to a lot of the intestinal issues horses have, though I imagine food poisoning would still be hell on both ends.

As for the undercarriage, they wouldn't have front-diccs for the same reasons pointed out in stream. Plus, it's just goddamn weird. Waste and reproduction would all be on the 'lower' torso, back half, and if they're not equine-esque and proportionally sized, they'd be pretty close. Bad news for the plain and prudish, good news for the xenophiles, furries, and monster-lovers. They pass the Harkness Test, so it's just a matter of taste... Moving swiftly alooong!

For reproduction, due to not having the evolutionary tug-of-war between 'small hips for supporting bipedal locomotion' and 'large hips for ease of childbirth' centaurs would probably have a 12-13 month gestation time and newborns would be equivalent, upper-half-wise, to a two year old. Not exactly capable of much yet, but doesn't have the 'wouldn't a centaur baby just be flopping around while the horse half is running' problem. It'd also mean they could start eating solid food pretty quickly, so you'd skip most of the breastfeeding (because can you imagine the back problems of big breasts when you have TWO backs?).

No, I haven't thought about all of this entirely too much while writing centaurs, you've thought about this entirely too much, shush.

Anyway.

All this is, of course, pure speculation and fantasy. If we ever did find or create a real centaur, I imagine there'd be a lot of studies on how their anatomy works, to say nothing of the novelty and media sensation of an entirely different species.

In short, they'd be the centaur of attention.

vulcanviduus252: Gabby immediately dying laughing at "macho-ist" was hilarious

midnightmatter2028: Fun Nerd Facts:

(Slight Spoilers of Elden Bling)

The dumbness of the names is actually to help you figure out who's related to who in da story:

Marika - Morgott, Mogh, Miquella, Malenia, Messmer, Melina

Godfrey - Godwyn, Godrick, Godfroy

Radagon - Renalla, Ranni, Rykard, Radahn

noirangel6416: Therapist: What seems to be the problem.

Me: I think im a macho-ist.

Therapist: A wha?

terminallynotgood2148: It was nice to get more Cath screentime in this one, her best moments are absolute gold

renlal9888: The amount of friendly fire is astounding

agrithdragonflame3775: I mean... I've got to. Sorry, Nick.

Well, Ahkually! Magic is a damage type in Elden Ring. While Rennala is highly resistant to magic damage, not all spells (sorceries and incantations) do magic damage. Even if you only use sorceries, there are options that don't do magic damage. In other words, Jake is right.

Yes, I know they cover this a few minutes later on. But I had to.

Connor_Top_Lad: Nobody expects Cath to make a spanish inquisition refrence

aronlund.: Cath was especially funny in this one!

uovoallacoqu: "No one expects the b***h in the bush!" might be the funniest thing Cath has ever said xD (the intonation was perfect)

Sep 20 2024

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